Faith transitions are hard. You might have spent your whole life believing something just to feel like the rug was pulled out from under you. I’ve put together a great big list of resources that have helped me deconstruct my relationship with mormonism and repair my relationship with family, friends, and myself after leaving.
Above all else, you deserve kindness and respect throughout this process. Give yourself space to deal with these hard topics, and please reach out for help if you need it. In my experience, all of the online communities I’ve linked to here are extremely supportive if you need somewhere to vent.
Deconstruction
It’s valuable to deconstruct your faith when you’ve decided to leave, especially if you’re leaving a high-demand religion (some would say cult) like mormonism1. Especially if you have found mormonism to be abusive or manipulative, deconstruction is a healthy process that can keep you from getting hurt again.
Books
- Combating Cult Mind Control by Steve Hassan
- No Man Knows My History by Fawn M. Brodie
- Joseph Smith: Rough Stone Rolling by Richard Bushman
- How to Leave the Mormon Church by Alyssa Grenfell
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson
Letters
- Letter For My Wife written anonymously
- The CES Letter by Jeremy Runnells
- Elemental Epistles by Landon Taylor (you are here)
Websites
Communities
Podcasts
- Mormon Stories Podcast; my favorite episodes are
- Infants on Thrones
- My Book of Mormon Podcast
Videos and Movies
- Can Mormons and Ex Mormons See Eye to Eye?
- Rhett and Link’s Spiritual Deconstruction
- Tangled (Disney)
- Moana (Disney)
- Toy Story (Disney)
- Believer (Independent Documentary)
- Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (Netflix)
Music
Note: the links from this section open in Spotify.
- Artist: Everclean (funny songs about the absurdity of mormonism)
- Song: “You Don’t Own Me Anymore” by The Secret Sisters
- Album: Hadestown and Musical: Hadestown by Anais Mitchell
- Song: “And I’m a Mormon” by eleventyseven
- Song: “Believer” by Imagine Dragons
- Album: Excommunication by Tyler Glenn
Mental Health
Leaving a religion (especially a high-demand religion or cult) is tough. It can be traumatizing, isolating, and painful. This section is sorted by category rather than medium.
General Resources
- Mindfulness Coach (free app from U.S. Veterans’ Affairs)
- List of International Crisis Hotlines
- National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
- Books for Recovery (a really nice list of books in several categories)
Religious Trauma Resources
While it isn’t officially recognized as a disorder, religious trauma is a very real, very valid experience.
- Wikipedia Entry: Religious Trauma Syndrome
- Global Center for Religious Research
- When Religion Hurts You by Laura E. Anderson
PTSD Resources
Many who leave the church experience trauma, and many who served missions or participated in other high-intensity roles within the church might experience PTSD.
- Mindfulness Coach (free app from U.S. Veterans’ Affairs)
- Reddit: r/ptsd
- My PTSD Forum
Human Trafficking Resources
It is possible you survived human trafficking as a Mormon. There are resources available to support you.
- National (US) Human Trafficking Hotline (to report trafficking and find resources)
- US Dept. of Justice Human Trafficking Resources
- Polaris
Recovery from Narcissistic Family and Leaders
While many (if not most) Mormons are kind, generous, and good people, mormonism seems to create an especially welcoming environment for narcissistic people. I found these resources extremely valuable during my faith transition.
Books
- I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jeanette McCurdy
- Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson
- Children of the Self-Absorbed by Nina W. Brown
Communities
Best of luck to you!
You’re doing brave things. Remember to love and respect yourself, and take care.