FAQ

In the time this resource has been available, a few questions have commonly arisen. I am grateful to people who have pointed out errors and provided a sincere criticism of the early versions of this project. I hope this page explains the rationale behind my decisions and encourage transparent, thoughtful conversations as I continue to improve this resource. As always, reach out if you find I have made a mistake.

Terminology

I have done my best to balance terminology between my own experience and the preferences of diverse people and communities.

I donā€™t prefer to be called Mormon. Why not use the correct name of the church?

I spent 24 years in the church. For 21 of those years, men who claimed to speak for God instructed me to proudly call myself a Mormon. While the term Mormon may not be fundamental to current church membersā€™ identities, it was fundamental to mine. I only say Mormon when referring to my own historical identity, and I do not refer to existing church members as Mormons.

If you are a faithful Latter-Day Saint, I hope you use whatever term that best describes your personal identity, whether that is Mormon or the scriptural name of the church. I advocate for mutual respect, and an easy way to demonstrate that is by allowing all parties to define and describe their own identities.

Why do you sometimes avoid people-centric language?

While preparing this resource, I researched communities that are commonly affected by the church. Part of this search included a query about how certain communities prefer to be referred to. It is challenging to balance the identities of individuals when discussing the large communities we all belong to, but I sincerely hope my language balances the feelings of many parties.

For example, I am autistic. I really struggle with the idea of people-first language to describe myself, since autism is a fundamental part of my identity. Because being autistic is an attribute I have, not a struggle I need to overcome, I identify as ā€œan autistic personā€, not ā€œa person with autismā€.

My goal is to include and uplift diverse thoughts and experiences, but I also happen to be a privileged white man who grew up in an extremely sheltered environment. If you feel I have not referred appropriately to a person or community, please consider reaching out, and Iā€™ll gladly correct my mistake.

Transparency

I value and aim for transparency as I encourage honest conversations about faith.

Why would you change so much in Version 2?

I started writing Version 1 of Elemental Epistles immediately after I decided to leave the church. My emotions were high. I did my very best to present a clean, rational argument, but I fell short in a few places.

Since writing Version 1, I have had an opportunity to spend more time processing trauma from my mission and childhood. I have been able to be more reflective on my experience, so in Version 2, I feel I present a much more detailed, nuanced story that is easier to read.

I felt it was prudent to clarify my intentions in Version 2, and I needed to improve the flow of the entire document. I also needed to #simplify my info-dumps, especially about logic and reasoning. For those curious, I maintain version notes for this project.

How can I know you donā€™t have ulterior motives?

I appreciate your skepticism ā€“ itā€™s important to carefully consider the motives and intentions behind any resource, especially when it comes to sensitive topics like faith and belief. Maintaining a critical eye is a wise approach.

My primary aim is to create a space for nuanced, compassionate dialogue around the complexities of Mormonism, particularly from the perspective of someone who has been on their own faith journey. I donā€™t seek to persuade or proselytize, but rather to share my personal experiences and reflections in a way that honors the diverse range of beliefs and perspectives many people experience.

To that end, Iā€™ve made a concerted effort to:

  • Ground the content in trustworthy sources whenever possible, including church-approved materials.
  • Avoid giving prescriptive advice or counsel, recognizing that each personā€™s path is unique.
  • Refrain from any commercial or financial motives ā€“ this is a labor of love, not a means to profit.
  • Present a balanced, nuanced view that acknowledges both the light and the shadow within my former faith.

Ultimately, my hope is that this resource can foster greater understanding, empathy and open dialogueā€”not to push anyone in a particular direction, but to create a safe space for exploration and reflection. Iā€™m happy to address any questions or concerns you may have.