My Intentions

When critically analyzing information to help yourself make a significant decision, it’s important to consider the legitimacy of resources. You have surely learned many critical analysis skills in a high school language arts class. One such strategy is an evaluation of the intentions and interests of involved parties.

To that end, I have explicitly documented my intentions.

What I Intend

My intentions are simple, and I outline them as follows. I hope to:

1. Encourage an honest, nuanced, and respectful conversation about beliefs from diverse perspectives;
2. Normalize talking about all aspects of religion, including both benefits and harm; and
3. Promote informed decision-making for people questioning their beliefs or experiencing a faith crisis.

I believe firmly in building the world I want to see, and I want to live in a world where people are comfortable having an open and honest conversation about faith. I believe publishing this resource contributes in a small way to building that world, and I hope it may have such an effect.

I have nothing material to gain from this resource. Its original version took four months to write and even longer to edit and publish. The current version has taken over a year to complete. I have taken a material loss by developing this resource. But I believe the value of contributing to this conversation is well worth the cost.

What I Don’t Intend

If you are experiencing a faith crisis and feel you must make a decision regarding your belief, I would encourage you to seek many sources for information. I hope this resource is useful, but I don’t intend for this resource to be a one-stop shop for faith deconstruction. A faith journey is beautiful and personal thing, and I hope you take the steps that feel most appropriate for you.

Further, I don’t necessarily want you to leave the church. I don’t necessarily want you to stay, either. I want you to make an informed decision that works for you. Only you know what is right for you. I sincerely hope you trust your own judgment and intuition to make a choice that brings you fulfillment and joy.

Perceptions of My Intentions

You may have heard the story of Lehi’s dream at the start of the Book of Mormon, which includes this verse:

And great was the multitude that did enter into that strange building. And after they did enter into that building they did point the finger of scorn at me and those that were partaking of the fruit also; but we heeded them not. These are the words of my father: For as many as heeded them, had fallen away¹

I fear that because I have left the church, my thoughts may be disregarded as a “finger of scorn.” I must state as explicitly as possible that I intend no mockery of faithful people. I admire and honor my pioneer ancestors who walked hundreds of miles in pursuit of a new life in the church. I have a deep respect for people who make great sacrifices for the sake of their beliefs.

I also want to empower anyone who fears that reading this may cause you to fall away from a beloved faith: you are an intelligent human being with free will. You’ve spent years working on refining your intuition. You may have even been promised that you have a gift to discern right from wrong.

The story of Jesus’ life is–in my opinion–a bautiful representation of empathy. The idea that someone would suffer and die for the sake of helping and understanding others is extremely powerful. One of the most beautiful things about life is learning about and empathizing with people we don’t yet understand. Learning about others’ perspectives and empathizing with them is not a betrayal of faith.

Why Trust Me?

I trust you to make your own informed decision. Even so, it’s possible you feel hesitant or afraid to read this. Russell Nelson’s recent advice might come to mind:

Never take counsel from those who do not believe²

Nothing in this resource should be considered counsel. Religion, after all, is a complicated, messy matter. I don’t know what course you should take. I understand you may not trust me. That’s okay. I still hope you are willing to hear my story and give my thoughts some reflection. Investigate the claims I’ve made. Tell me if I made a mistake.

I sincerely hope you do not feel I am attacking you or your beliefs. They were my beliefs for decades. I felt confused, conflicted, angry, afraid, hurt, and betrayed during my own faith crisis. It is normal to feel intense emotions when learning that a treasured belief system might be flawed.