Chapter 2

My Story

page hero, Landon at his temple wedding

Content Warning

This chapter contains sensitive topics such as faith crises, abuse, assault, human trafficking, and mental and physical health struggles. Please proceed with care and discretion, or you may skip to Culture.

If you had told me on October 1st that by Halloween, I would no longer be a Mormon, I would have been shocked. If you had shown my September self a video of my November self sipping a mug of black tea, I would have been horrified. Yet, in hindsight, my decision to step away from the faith of my upbringing was both obvious and inevitable.

Sharing this story has been a difficult and vulnerable process for me. I have seriously debated whether I should put these deeply personal experiences out into the world. But I’ve come to believe that my story deserves to be told. We are all human, after all, and perhaps by sharing my story, I can help others who are navigating their own experiences feel less alone.

Before I begin, I want to emphasize that I have an immense love and respect for my parents and everyone who helped care for my young self. They are incredible, supportive people who did everything in their power to give me a happy, privileged childhood. I owe them so much, and I will be forever grateful for their sacrifices and unconditional love.

I also hold many church leaders and counselors from my youth in high regard. The issues I discuss are systemic in nature and should not be used to condemn the sincere, well-intentioned individuals who served in those roles. They worked so hard to serve and uplift their community.

My purpose in sharing this story is not to tear anyone down, but to encourage a thoughtful, nuanced exploration of the complex interplay between faith, culture, and personal experience. I hope that by sharing my own journey, I can provide validation and understanding for those who find themselves in the midst of their own spiritual upheaval.

May we approach each other with empathy, respect, and kindness.