FAQ

I spent 24 years in the church. For 21 of those years, men who claimed to speak for God instructed me to proudly call myself a Mormon. While the term Mormon may not be fundamental to current church members’ identities, it was fundamental to mine. I only say Mormon when referring to my own historical identity, and I do not refer to existing church members as Mormons.

If you are a faithful Latter-Day Saint, I hope you use whatever term that best describes your personal identity, whether that is Mormon or the scriptural name of the church. I advocate for mutual respect, and an easy way to demonstrate that is by allowing all parties to define and describe their own identities.

While preparing this resource, I researched communities that are commonly affected by the church. Part of this search included a query about how certain communities prefer to be referred to. It is challenging to balance the identities of individuals when discussing the large communities we all belong to, but I sincerely hope my language balances the feelings of many parties.

For example, I am autistic. I really struggle with the idea of people-first language to describe myself, since autism is a fundamental part of my identity. Because being autistic is an attribute I have, not a struggle I need to overcome, I identify as “an autistic person”, not “a person with autism”.

My goal is to include and uplift diverse thoughts and experiences, but I also happen to be a privileged white man who grew up in an extremely sheltered environment. If you feel I have not referred appropriately to a person or community, please consider reaching out, and I’ll gladly correct my mistake.

I started writing Version 1 of Elemental Epistles immediately after I decided to leave the church. My emotions were high. I did my very best to present a clean, rational argument, but I fell short in a few places.

Since writing Version 1, I have had an opportunity to spend more time processing trauma from my mission and childhood. I have been able to be more reflective on my experience, so in Version 2, I feel I present a much more detailed, nuanced story that is easier to read.

I felt it was prudent to clarify my intentions in Version 2, and I needed to improve the flow of the entire document. I also needed to #simplify my info-dumps, especially about logic and reasoning. For those curious, I maintain version notes for this project.

I appreciate your skepticism – it’s important to carefully consider the motives and intentions behind any resource, especially when it comes to sensitive topics like faith and belief. Maintaining a critical eye is a wise approach.

My primary aim is to create a space for nuanced, compassionate dialogue around the complexities of Mormonism, particularly from the perspective of someone who has been on their own faith journey. I don’t seek to persuade or proselytize, but rather to share my personal experiences and reflections in a way that honors the diverse range of beliefs and perspectives many people experience.

To that end, I’ve made a concerted effort to:

• Ground the content in trustworthy sources whenever possible, including church-approved materials.
• Avoid giving prescriptive advice or counsel, recognizing that each person’s path is unique.
• Refrain from any commercial or financial motives – this is a labor of love, not a means to profit.
• Present a balanced, nuanced view that acknowledges both the light and the shadow within my former faith.

Ultimately, my hope is that this resource can foster greater understanding, empathy and open dialogue—not to push anyone in a particular direction, but to create a safe space for exploration and reflection. I’m happy to address any questions or concerns you may have.